Random . .

I can't describe what I feel inside right now . I just feel like I'm not being in the right place for this time . I miss what these all used to be . Everything has been changed by now . Whenever I hear my phone ring I feel scared , even to enter this home make my heart beats fastly out of how it works in usual . I always remember that thing , the thing that he said to me , the thing that I've never heard before directly from someone's tongue . Yeah, I've gotten a traumatic T_____T


I think I've never done the wrong thing , but why he should do this to me ? I always hear and do what he asked me . Even it's hard to find the time when I have a complain about what he asked me . But for this case, it cannot being tolerant . He tries to pit me with my brother's girl through my phone cellular . For the first time, I can be patient and wait for the right time to talk about this problem . But then, he tried to find my phone again tacitly and text the girl to break her relationship with my brother . I've gotten shocked , I can't push my emotion down . I spoke to him uncontrolly , my voice raised , my body vibrated and the tears fell down dramatically . ohh God, forgive me !! I know I've done the wrong way to open his eyes and mind . I shouldn't have done that to him that have grown me until now . But surely, I can't stand for any longer . I'm serious !! I think it's better for me than I get a stroke later to keep all of problems in my mind .

Then, this problem have a effect to my boyfriend that actually knows nothing about my problem . He said me
that I'm not a good girl (re:bitchy) dating a boy like mine . Haa ? He did nothing but he was judged ! He said that on phone not directly between face to face . Maybe that's why I've gotten the traumatic whenever my phone rings :'( Can u imagine that ? How come a father say that stupid words to his daughter while she did nothing wrong T____T

Until now, my boyfriend is being looked as a criminal by him . I don't understand why !! And I will always ask why why why ? T____T